talán egy ima

néha eltölt valami - a helyzethez, helyzetemhez képest - indokolatlan béke. pillanatnyi szépségbe belefeledkezni, hinni, hogy lehet jó is. kicsit mintha lenne isten és a dolgok akár alakulhatnak úgy is, mintha minden rendben lenne. halak csobbanó játéka, hûvösen suhanó szépség, rácsodálkozni egy egy gyönyörû nõ mosolyára és belefeledkezni, hideg õszben éjszaka langyos szélben állsz. apróságokon múlik, hogy átfoduljon a világod életbe. talán egy ima kellene...
ha játszhatnál, mondjuk teremtést, mit változtatnál? és melyik változás lenne olyan, hogy nem csinálnád vissza soha, mert nem törölne olyat belõled, amirõl érzed, hogy mégis kell, lenne amit tudnál igazán élni?
persze, lehet, hogy te nem csináltál hülyeségeket. lehet, hogy te észszerû döntések vonalaiban élted az életed, ha nem tudod milyen a semmibe ugrani a pillanatnyi lebegésért, az érzésért, ahogy zuhanás közben széttárt karjaid alá feszül a szél és pillanatokra felemel, mintha repülnél. nekem kell ez. nekem kell ami a repülésbõl nekem jutott, nekem kell a remény, hogy hogy egyszer a zuhanás vége repülés lehet, és nem akarom tudni a gravitációt, amíg nem muszáj. másodpercek. ezek vannak a vége elõtt. talán egy ima, egy újabb pillanatért.

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