öregszem
- Részletek
- Írta: éjszárny zöldi
oregszem. belefaradtam mar egy csomo faszsagba. meg mindig ugyanazt gondolom arrol, hogy hogyan
kellene elni, de mar nem probalom megvaltani a vilagot. nem szolok szinte semmiert, csak lassan
egy mogorva ven fassza valok - mert nem szolok mar, de lassan elegem lesz, es marok ha hozzam
szolnak. par eve pont ettol feltem, hogy igy valtozok... hulyeseg, mondtak, nem vagy ilyen.
dehogynem. nincs kedvem ugyanazokhoz a harcokhoz mindennap, lenne ertelme, megis hiabavalo. ha
elmondom egyszer es nem, hat nem, ez lett mas, regen ketszazszor elmondtam, mert fontos. ma
egyszer, es ha nem, hat nem mondom, csak keserubb leszek meg egy kicsit. es nem orulok ennek,
mert ez kenyszerpalya. potlek es hiany csak, nem eletcel. nem festek, igazabol mar nem irok,
valahogy ott van bennem a "megis minek? hat szamitott az eddigi is?" nem , persze elsore nem,
pedig tudom, hogy igen, nagyonis igen. az volt az ertelme ami valtozott, abban is aki csak
olvasott... a tavolrol kapott koszonomokben, az emberekben akik olvastak, ok tudjak miert, es
kicsit en is, akinek paran megirtak mi valtozott tolem bennuk, es halasak voltak erte.
de amikor az ember egyedul van, gyakran nem ezt erzi, hanem a hianyt, az uresseget, ahova
mastol, masoktol remelt tartalmat.
ez a sok hiany megmergez valamit, ugy, ahogy a csalodas hagy maga utan heget. es nem tetszik,
de valahogy en is rosszabba es rosszabba faradok.
ez a zuhanas. igazabol ez a zuhanas, ahogyan magamat veszitem el.
sokszor mar nem tudom, van e meg visszaut, ha elmulik egyszer valakitol, valakiert ez a hiany, repulok-e meg, vagy elmult vegleg reg...
en tenyleg tudtam varazsolni, lehozni a csillagokat, volt bennem valami, ami senkiben akit ismerek, es most, igazabol csak felek, hogy azt aki voltam, azt, hogy valaki voltam, az lehetek e meg...?
oregszem. meg tudok mosolyogni a hazugsagra, de utana elfordulok es nem keresem: miert? bezarkozom, es zuhanok magamban tovabb. es viszek magammal valamit...
éjszárny-hírlevél
Támogatás
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tisztelt látogató, ezúton szeretnélek megkérni,hogy ha tetszik amit itt találtál,és van rá lehetőséged,akkor támogasd az oldal működését,tetszőleges pénzadománnyal illetve megosztással.ez sokat segítene abban, hogy az oldal továbbra is tudjon működni,és minél több írás, kép, zene születhessen.ha nem tudod, az sem gond, amíg az oldal működik, továbbra is ingyenes marad. a támogatási lehetőségeket IDE KATTINTVA tudod megtekinteni. köszönettel, éjszárny
|
 |
...és egy részlet Kerouac Útonjából, csak mert szeretem, és talán mást is eltalál:
"Azért mikor kinn ülök a folyó lerobbant rakodópartján napnyugtával, és az ég New Jerseynek nyúló sávját figyelem, és elgondolom, hogy az éggel egyközûen épp ilyen hosszü sáv föld ível a nyugati partig, és a földön út vonul, és az út hossza az álma mindenkinek, és lowában, tudom, a gyerekek ilyenkor sírnak, mert ott nem bánják, ha sír a gyerek, azért ne sírjatok, mondom innen, mert a csillagok feljönnek mindjárt, és nem tudjátok, hogy az Isten Micimackó? az ég pedig odébb a prérire hajlik, és hullajtja rá diadémjait, mikor alig tûzte még a fekete éjszakára, a föld áldására, a folyók csendesítésére, csúcsok sipkájául, és elrejti benne a végsõ part titkát, hogy senki ne tudja, mi lesz, csak az öregedés foszló ruháit tudja..." (Jack Kerouac: Úton)
Legfrissebbek...
- Isten valójában és a helyünk a világban...
- Hosszúszőrű akita - Shizu képek :)
- animgif
- Verseskötet - kell vagy nem?
- estvér - meztelenül
- meztelenül
- estvér - csendes eső
- csendes eső - lilinek
- estvér - zápor
- majdnem ott
- majdnem ott - zene
- szabó lőrinc - tenger - megzenésített vers
- szabó lőrinc - csillagok közt - megzenésített vers
- elfolyik...
- koi ívás
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